Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part X
Brenda Schaeffer Brenda Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part X

FROM POWER PLAYS TO POWER SHARING

A hallmark sign of unhealthy relationships are power plays. A hallmark sign of healthy relationships is power sharing. - Brenda Schaeffer

What is Power?

The transition from childish omnipotence to power-sharing seems to be something we all struggle with. Power is not a commodity outside of us nor is it control over others.

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Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part IX
Is it Love Series Brenda Schaeffer Is it Love Series Brenda Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part IX

POWER PLAYS

When love is without power, it goes idle. When power is without love, it injures.

- Brenda Schaeffer, from Loving Me, Loving You

A common sign of love addiction and unhealthy relationships is the use of power plays. Power plays are manipulative behaviors that keep people relating on an unequal basis. The myth underlying power plays is that there is not enough power for two and is based on the belief that people with power have control and get what they want.

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Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part VII</a>I
Is it Love Series Heidi Schaeffer Is it Love Series Heidi Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part VIII

SIGNS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

The affirmation of one’s own life, happiness, growth, freedom, is rooted in one’s capacity to love—in care, respect, responsibility, and knowledge — Erich Fromm

We do need other people. In our evolution as human beings, there is a developing awareness that we are linked with other people in a very profound way. As a psychotherapist I am reminded how basic is the need to experience giving and receiving love, of healthy belonging.

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Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part I
Brenda Schaeffer Brenda Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part I

INTRODUCTION

The greatness of love stories is not in how perfect they can be, but what lessons they reveal to us. — Brenda Schaeffer

Words we often associate with addiction include obsessive, excessive, destructive, habitual, attached, dependent, and sick. And when you think about it, some of these words can be used to talk about love relationships or our use of sex.

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