Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part IX
Is it Love Series Brenda Schaeffer Is it Love Series Brenda Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part IX

POWER PLAYS

When love is without power, it goes idle. When power is without love, it injures.

- Brenda Schaeffer, from Loving Me, Loving You

A common sign of love addiction and unhealthy relationships is the use of power plays. Power plays are manipulative behaviors that keep people relating on an unequal basis. The myth underlying power plays is that there is not enough power for two and is based on the belief that people with power have control and get what they want.

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Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part VII
Heidi Schaeffer Heidi Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part VII

SIGNS OF SEX ADDICTION

Sex can be a sacred way of connecting or it can be the egoist’s way of self-fulfillment. — Brenda Schaeffer

Sometimes it seems as though we have no control over which sexual path we take—the path to love, or the path to addiction. The idea that sex can be an addiction is quite topical and not without its critics. Sex addiction has often been overlooked or minimized by society, individuals, and professionals.

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Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part V
Brenda Schaeffer Brenda Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part V

SIGNS OF ADDICTIVE LOVE

Relationships are a matrix within which we either grow or wither. *

— Brenda Schaeffer

Because it is so common, we often mistake love addiction for mature love. Immature love says, “I love because I am loved.” Mature love says I love because I am love.”

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Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part I
Brenda Schaeffer Brenda Schaeffer

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Part I

INTRODUCTION

The greatness of love stories is not in how perfect they can be, but what lessons they reveal to us. — Brenda Schaeffer

Words we often associate with addiction include obsessive, excessive, destructive, habitual, attached, dependent, and sick. And when you think about it, some of these words can be used to talk about love relationships or our use of sex.

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